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“Return to the palace…” Xiao Jingyan murmured, “If he does not want me to know, then there must be difficulties. Why, then, should I have to know, and add to his troubles for nothing…”...
He didn’t know how to describe how he felt. If he was happy because his best friend was still alive, then why did he feel as though his chest had been carved open by a blade? If he felt angry at being kept in the dark, then why did his heart feel so full of painful fondness that it hurt even to breathe?
читать дальшеWho was Lin Shu? Lin Shu was his best friend, Lin Shu was proud and forthright, fiercely competitive and never willing to give in. Clad in silver with a long spear in hand, always rowdy wherever he went. He was the xiao huo ren who knew not what cold meant. His joy was like that of a sparrow’s, his anger a tiger’s. He was the young marshal of the Chiyan army who never masked his emotions…
But who was Mei Changsu? He always had his head lowered and mouth curved in a smirk. His speech was mild and unassuming, and no one could ever see what he truly thought. He was always wrapped in a fur cloak and huddled near a brazier, measuring the depths of people’s hearts behind darkened eyes, his face as pale as paper. He had not the least bit of vitality and his fingers were always as cold as ice, as though they carried the chill from hell.
He was like the ashes left behind after a blazing fire was extinguished. Others might be reminded of the fire he once was but he no longer had that roaring heat and spirit.
Xiao Jingyan found himself completely unable to imagine what could have brought upon this change. When he tried, the pain that engulfed him was deeper and darker than a starless, moonless night.
As they entered the Eastern Palace, Meng Zhi went to help Xiao Jingyan dismount. But as the newly-elected Crown Prince slowly ascended the jade white steps up to the main hall, he suddenly felt as though every step was a step upon the back of his best friend, who was supporting him with gritted teeth. His legs felt weak and he couldn’t help but fall on the stairs.163 глава:
читать дальшеXiao Jingyan was still holding on to Mei Changsu’s wrist. The wrist that had once been so sturdy was now so weak and soft, and trembles slightly in his grip. He feels like there’s a rock sitting in the pit of his stomach. Against his own will, his grip tightened, as though he was trying to transfer all his energy over. But apart from that, Xiao Jingyan did not move an inch nor spoke a word.
That was because the person sitting before him was his best friend, and at the same time, he was not the best friend Xiao Jingyan knew. The Lin Shu who had weathered so much to come back is no longer the Lin Shu that could take punches and blows, that had seemed to be molded from iron. At this crucial moment, Xiao Jingyan did not dare to do or say anything wrong, and could only hold on to that hand in silence.
After a long while, Mei Changsu gently pried Xiao Jingyan’s hand away and stood up slowly, holding to the armrest for support. His pale lips pressed together and he softly said, “I still have matters to attend to at home. Please allow me to take my leave.”
“Xiao…” Xiao Jingyan opened his mouth but did not dare to call him. He could only watch as Mei Changsu turned to leave, the other man moving slowly and unsteadily to the door.
Watching from the side, Shen Zhui and Cai Quan had no idea what was going on. But Xiao Jingyan had completely forgotten about them. After standing still for a few seconds, he ran out after Mei Changsu.
Mei Changsu was walking as quickly as he could, but he had only just recovered from a serious illness and was emotionally unsettled. His limbs and his face felt numb. Just as he reached the steps outside, his knees turned weak and he had to stop to hold on to the banister and catch his breath.
Even without looking back, Mei Changsu could feel Xiao Jingyan’s gaze on him. He gritted his teeth and gathered his strength, unwilling to show any weakness at this time. In the past, they had grown up together, raced their horses with each other, sparred with each other, competed for glory during the autumn hunts, fought together on ferocious battlefields, and led the vanguard and baited enemies. Once, when besieged by an army ten times larger than their own, they had fought back-to-back and carved a bloody way out together. The proud and stubborn Lin Shu could never have imagined that one day, Xiao Jingyan would rush to him to support his frail body and, in a voice full of sympathy, ask, “Xiao Shu, are you all right?”
He could never imagine and he could never accept it. So he wanted to run away, to leave this place, to return to Su Manor, to regain his stability and slowly think, slowly make his decision.
But when he managed to get his breathing under control, he couldn’t take another step forward because Feiliu had suddenly ran over from a side gate. Feiliu’s steps were heavier than usual and he carried a grey wolf close to his chest.
...
Xiao Jingyan carried Foya with one arm. His other arm was extended before him, palm facing down and fingers loosely wrapped in a fist a few inches away from Mei Changsu’s right shoulder. After a few moments of silence, Mei Changsu lifted his eyes and met Xiao Jingyan’s gaze.
In that moment, both of them felt an incredible pain. At the same time, they felt each other’s pain.
An incredible pain that neither of them could speak of, for fear that once they open their mouths, all that would come out was blood.Xiao Jingyan’s arm was still extended without the least bit of wavering. Mei Changsu’s pale face showed no emotion but finally, his right hand reached out. Using that steady arm as a support, he slowly pulled himself up. Once he seemed steady on his feet, that arm withdrew quickly, as though it had never helped him to stand in the first place.